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  • Writer's pictureJeremy LaLonde


Good god this is delicious. You can make this bastard for dessert with a little ice cream, but it's more than healthy enough to throw it down for a family breakfast. It's whole food plant based, oil free, and refined sugar free. But it's loaded with fucking flavour.

Serves: 6 or so, you know, if you have will power...



  • 4 cups rhubarb, cut into 1 inch pieces

  • 4 cups strawberries, cut in half (or quartered if they're those fucking huge ones)

  • 1/3 cup maple syrup (up to 1/2 cup if you like it sweeter)

  • 1 tbsp grated ginger

  • 4 tbsp water

  • 1 tsp vanilla


  • 1 to 3 tbsp cornstarch (arrowroot works too)

  • 2 to 3 tbsp water


  • 1 1/2 cups rolled oats, (not quick cooking) chopped

  • 1/2 cup almond flour

  • 1 1/2 tsp baking powder

  • 2 tsp cinnamon

  • 1 tsp lemon or orange zest

  • 1/4 cup organic maple syrup

  • 1/4 cup unsweetened almond butter

  • Pinch of sea salt


Preheat the oven to 350 F.

Toss all the filling ingredients into a small pot and bring that bastard to a boil, then right-the-fuck-away lower to a simmer for 3 minutes.

In the meantime, create the cornstarch slurry in a small bowl by tossing in the starch and water - whisk that shit to combine, set it aside.

Back to the stove - TURN UP DA HEAT until the fruit syrup starts to boil, then add the slurry and boil until it starts to thicken. Once it does, boil for a minute, stirring the ever-loving-shit out of it, then remove the pot from the stove and set that shit aside.

Next - make that damn crumble. Place the rolled oats in a food processor to break that shit up, about 20 seconds of pulsing should do it. Then add all the remaining crumble ingredients to the food processor and pulse just until well combined, DON'T OVERDO IT DAMNIT! You know it's good to go when you can press that shit between your fingers and it sticks together.

Grab an oven safe baking dish - 9 x 13 works well - spread that luscious fruit sauce over the bottom, then sprinkle the crumble evenly all over the top - resist the urge to press it down. Seriously, just let it float on top like a dense sweet-ass cloud.

Bake for 20 minutes, then remove from the oven and let that shit cool and set for 20 minutes to allow the filling to set. Serve warm and SMASH IT INTO YOUR FACE!


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