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  • Writer's pictureJeremy LaLonde

Kick Ass Kitchiri

This is one of our family’s all-time-favorite one-pot meals. This shit comes together wicked fast and it’s delicious AF. Makes a whack load of leftovers too. It’s a no brainer. Make this shit for yourself.

You’re going to read the ingredients and might say: what the fuck are cardamom pods?! Cloves?! Where do I get these things!? Your average well stocked grocery store will have them in their international section - otherwise check out a bulk store. Worst case: online. Best thing is these are dried and they last for fucking ever.

Serves: 6-8


1 cup green lentils

1 medium onion, diced

1 garlic clove, minced

1 1/4 cups quick brown rice

2 tsp dried coriander

2 tsp cumin seeds

2 cloves

3 cardamom pods

2 bay leaves

1 cinnamon stick

4 cups low-sodium vegetable stock

2 tbsp tomato paste

1 cup frozen peas

3 tbsp fresh coriander or parsley (if you like that shit or have it)


Either soak the green lentils overnight or cover with boiling water and let ‘em sit for about half an hour. Drain - put some fresh water in and boil for another 10 minutes. Drain once more and set that shit aside.

Heat up a large pot and put a little water at the bottom. Add the onions and garlic and stir it around till the onions soften up all nice like.

Add the rice, get it all mixed in with the onions and then toss in the coriander and cumin seeds. Stir for like a minute or so. That’s it.

Toss in everything else except the peas and fresh herbs. Mix that shit up good and bring that fucker to a boil and then cover and simmer for about 20 minutes until the stock is all absorbed and the lentils and rice are soft and cuddly.

Stir in the frozen peas to help it cool the mixture down as well as warm them up. Toss in the fresh herbs if you’re using them and dig through and try to remove the cinnamon stick, bay leaves, cardamom pods, and cloves. Good fucking luck finding the cloves. It’s good luck to find one while eating! ;-)

SMASH THIS INTO YOUR MOUTH - you’re welcome!


Serve this with naan bread if you can get some.


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